Dorothy was a waitress on the promenade
She worked the night shift
Dishwater blonde
Tall and fine
She got a lot of tips
Well...
Earlier I'd been talkin' stuff in a violent room
Fightin' with a lover's past
I needed someone with a quicker wit than mine
Dorothy was fast
Well...
I ordered
"Yeah, lemme get a fruit cocktail
I ain't 2 hungry"
Dorothy laughed
She said "sound like a real man 2 me
U're kinda cute
Do u wanna take a bath?"
Oh, I said "cool, but I'm leaving my pants on cuz I'm kinda going with someone"
She said "sound like a real man 2 me
Mind if I turn on the radio?
Oh, my favorite song!" she said, and it was Joni singing "Help me, I think I'm falling..."
Ring!
The phone rang and she said "whoever's calling can't be as cute as u"
Right then and there I knew I was through
Dorothy Parker was cool
Well...
My pants were wet
They came off but she didn't see the movie cuz she hadn't read the book first
Instead, she pretended she was blind - an affliction brought on by the witch's curse
Dorothy made me laugh
I felt much better so I went back to the violent room
Let me tell u what I did...
I took another bubble bath with my pants on
All the fighting stopped
Next time I'll do it sooner
This is the ballad of Dorothy ParkerWell...
